There are a few good rules to remember when you are ready to take the next step with someone you met online, and ask them on a real date. The first rule is the same in cyber space as it is in the real world: Before you ask for a date, don’t be afraid of rejection. Getting turned down can be a bummer, but don’t stress. Remind yourself that just because one person says no doesn’t mean that everyone will, so don’t give up hope. Everyone has to experience rejection to appreciate it when they do get a date.
Another rule: Never request a first date for a Friday or a Saturday night, because those nights are too big and important for a first date. Begin with a more run-of-the-mill kind of day, such as a Tuesday or a Thursday, which is a day when most people don’t tend to plan a lot of activities. Making the first date a non-weekend event will take some of the pressure off, as it will make it a more low-key event. Try going out to lunch first instead of dinner. An evening date can often end with an awkward doorstep scene that could be avoided with a more casual meeting.
Here’s another good rule of thumb: Always offer a potential date options about what to do for your first time going out. These options can include all aspects of the big day – the time, the activity, how to get there, etc. By offering a few choices right from the start you sound confident that the potential date will accept one of your great suggestions. What’s more, even though coming up with more than one first date plan might take extra effort; it also offers a better chance of success. And if the date takes a pass on all your options, you know that person doesn’t want to go out with you. Take it as a lesson learned, and move on.
One final thing to remember – Never say, “So, would you like to go out sometime?” If you phrase your invitation to a first date like that, you are inviting an easier and more definite rejection. And if they say yes, then you still have to ask them out! Instead, be specific, that way you won’t look quite as hopeless, even if you get turned down.